A ruthless discussion of the term 'Budget Bride' and wedding decision making
I only have $500. Will you take it?
A couple of days ago, I posted an item about the differences between money (price), value, budget and result. It generated lots of traffic, a comment or two, and plenty of direct email.
It also caused me to consider the phrase, ‘budget bride.’ Along with DIY Bride, these are two of the most annoying and poorly used descriptors in the wedding industry. To a great degree, I lay that at the feet of my friends in mass media for the wedding industry. Mass media tends to be a popularization tool as much as an information source. If you repeat a phrase, such as ‘budget bride,’ often enough, it becomes part of the wedding lexicon, for better for worse.
The problem with these phrases is they paint the bride’s resources with the grayest of brush strokes. So, at the risk of being more precise, I’ll break it down from my experience.
- DIY Bride: (Budget: under $5000) Someone who probably doesn’t have the resources to get married just yet and is likely to turn most of her wedding into an Arts and Crafts project.
- Low Budget Bride (Budget: $5000 – $14,999) Has the resources, but will have to make some tough decisions on the reception. The big conundrum is whether to economize across the board or cut in specific areas, and not others.
- Statistically Average Bride: (Budget: $15,000 – $34,999) Has the resources to do a nice job on the reception. Her biggest decision should be ‘How many guests can we invite to have a nice reception?’
- High Budget Bride (Budget: $35,000 – $60,000): Has more than enough money to do great things. Her biggest challenge is not to make bad choices among wedding vendors, irrespective of money.
- Luxury Bride (Budget: more than $60,000): Daddio has wads of cash and she wants to be awash in greenbacks. Not all brides in this financial category are Bridezillas, but the risk and tendency is greater than in any of the lower tiers. Bridezillas almost always make bad decisions. It’s in their DNA.
A budget is not:
- … is not throwing a dart at a target.
- … budget is not the total amount in the parent’s bank account or your bank account.
- … budget is not what one or more girlfriends spent on their wedding.
- … is not necessarily what you see on Platinum Weddings or Get Married TV (those are inspirations)
A budget is:
- A study of the range of what wedding products and services cost in your area, balanced against your tastes, inspirations and fantasies.
- Factored by the number of guests you choose to invite.
A line budget item is not:
- “I only have $750 left for videography. Will you take that?”
- “Oh, my third cousin, Oscar, is going to take the photos.”
A budget is:
- $1 Million
- $50,000
- $25,000
- $7,500
- $3,000
Budget does not necessarily mean low budget. A budget can be…
- A specific dollar amount or less
- A specific dollar amount or more
- A range from $X to $Y (this is the preferred budget)
- Money is no object (must be the truth)
The Wedding Report publishes ongoing data about spending in the wedding industry. It consistently reports that brides spend close to 50% more than they had budgeted for the wedding, with an average wedding expense running just under $30,000. This shows a major discrepancy between the original money allotted, from reality of their desires.
I would assert the reason for this is that their original money allotment was not a budget at all. It was dart throwing at a bank book.
Here’s the challenge from every wedding professional, wedding media outlet, and industry trade association:
- Clearly delineate what it means to be a professional in your category of the wedding industry, from the standpoint of ‘benefits to the bride.’
- Explain the relationship (if any) of your business category to others. Such as the interactions between entertainer, photographer, videographer and caterer/venue. Or flowers and cake.
- Explain the Truth or Consequences and effect of making a sub-standard choice.
The naked truth about satisfaction vs. money spent: When a wedding day is over, either the bride and groom are happy with a particular product or service or they are not. A vendor is not wearing a price tag around their neck. There is not a dollar cost at your place card, showing the price of each dinner. There is not a little flag in your slice of cake, showing its cost plus a cake cutting fee.
In retrospect, most wedding couples can point out decisions they made, that were off-the-mark. There are hundreds of decisions, big and small, involved in a wedding. Amazingly enough, it only takes one or two really bad decisions to create an unhappy outcome. And, amazingly enough, a really bad decision is often not related to money.
It would be outstanding if all wedding industry professionals would embrace educating the bride to realistic and exciting expectations, rather than than just fanning the flames of fairy tale dreams. It is true that if the wedding budget is spent disproportionately, bad things usually happen.
A bride with $12,000 to spend, should be able to experience as much happiness on her wedding day as one with $50,000. But that supposes she has enough information, common sense, and critical thinking to make consistently good decisions, and then does so.
Come to think of it, that’s a pretty good operational mission statement for the wedding industry.
Don’t you agree?
Andy Ebon
The Wedding Marketing
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Andy,
I couldn’t agree more. I especially like your point “Explain the relationship (if any) of your business category to others. Such as the interactions between entertainer, photographer, videographer and caterer/venue. Or flowers and cake.”
The sad reality is that majority of wedding professionals can’t see past their own nose. They miss the big picture of why they are there in the first place. The event then becomes more about them and their work versus the client. They could care less about any of the other professionals.
I recently wrote my own blog article “It’s all about the bride.”. The point being that the wedding and all the vendors are there for one reason, the bride and groom. By making it all about the bride you get to know your client better and then it’s not about you anymore. It’s about them. The vendors are more capable of working together and be helping any budget bride achieve her goals if they would just listen to what the bride needs or wants, AND listen to other professionals and what they need to do what the bride needs. The outcome would be more favorable.
You couldn’t be more right that wedding resources and professionals are lacking in educating the bride to help her achieve her goals and budget. We are not doing the bride or the wedding industry any favors by this.
Dave
Dave,
Thanks for your thoughtful comment.
I do differ slightly, but only in one respect. I believe that a wedding day is equal parts about the guests and the bride and groom. When a bride (or couple) make their decisions, strictly on their wants and desires, not taking the guests into account, nothing much good comes of it.
The same problem can occur when a Mother-of-the-Bride exerts too much influence. The event can become too much about impressing her friends and relatives than helping host a reception with the bride and groom for all the family and friends.
Keeping that balance among all involved is certainly a challenge.
Andy
A well written article. And I agree that the guests must be taken into consideration also. That point is part of my initial meeting with my brides. It doesnt’ matter so much what flavor of cake the bride/groom don’t like …. there will be 148 other people at the reception, so “….what flavor do you think THEY will enjoy?”
A wedding is not something that one plans frequently in a lifetime, so I’m not surprised that they underbudget, because they have no idea what things REALLY cost. However, we live in the information age and there are many, many avenues available to a bride-to-be that can easily educate her on what things cost. (I’m still amazed when brides think they can get an ornately decorated, sugary piece of art as the grand centerpiece of their reception … for around $1 per serving.)
Debi Brim / Cater It Simple, Indianapolis
Debi,
Thanks for your comments. The last notation was the classic. Wedding cake for $1/serving. Not likely
Please visit often.
Andy
I like this blog.
Sometimes I think it is senseless to spend a lot of money on certain aspects of the wedding no matter how much money you have. I think centerpieces can be one of the areas that can be saved on even the bride is not a artsy-crafts type person.
Bravo!
Since I do destination weddings there are few DIY brides. But I do get the occasional, “Cousin Bobby is a professional photographer, so we’ll let him do the photos.”
Is Cousin Bobby a guest or a vendor? What happens if he drops his camera into the ocean on a snorkel trip the day before? In cases like this I recommend a minimal professional photo package and let Bobby do the rest. When I explain my reasons, the brides listen.
It’s important to explain. We all tend to assume that everybody has the same body of knowledge that we do. Wrong.
Anyway, nice article. Well thought out and nicely written.
Once again, bravo!
Peace, sunsets and aloha from Maui,
Ellen
Ellen,
Thanks for your comments and kind words.
Best Aloha,
Andy
Hello Andy,
Was a pleasure meeting you in Vegas and I will see you again in Chicago.
I thought I would chime in here about the whole budget concept. As a Wedding Planner I refer to a budget (regardless of actuall $$ Amount) as a Bride’s list of priorities. This method of thinking then allows any financial budget to be applied and implemented succesfully. Budget is a very loose term and can be applied in many different ways such as budgeting your time, budgeting your human resources, or the obvious financial budgets.
But if we take away the numbers and aprroach the “budget” as a way to find out what her priorities are then we can define her expectations; which is probably the most important part of any business. Once we know what the Bride expects, we then can look at the numbers and educate her on ways to either achieve her expectations or redefine her expectations based on reality.
Your final statement couldn’t be more appropriate!!!
Wonderful topic and great post
~ Chad Alan
Chad,
Thank you for your thoughtful contribution to the discussion. Your approach is an interesting one, and wisely, targets the priorities first, then arriving at the budget.
I most appreciate your acknowledgment of my closing statement. My DJ companies worked over 2000 weddings. I worked about 1000. Over time, it became abundantly clear that some greatest events, with happiest people, were ones with a modest budget.
See you in Chicago,
Andy
Fantastic post! Thank you for helping to set the record straight.
May I quote you?
This simply must be shared!
Jane
Jane,
Thanks for your enthusiasm. If you want to share the whole article, just grab the headline and the first two paragraphs (referencing the name of the blog). then add link to the article (http://weddingmarketing.net/blog/2009/06/19/ruthless-discussion-term-budget-bride/) to send readers to the entire post.
If you just want to quote any piece of the post, just quote it, and link to the post.
Andy
Andy,
Than you for the post. One would expect any such post regarding the wedding budget to be biased towards the writers profession. I had to guess, I would have guessed it was written by a wedding planner.
I was delighted with how impartial the post was.
Also that the writer was a member of my profession within the wedding industry.
I believe that as entertainers, we have the greatest opportunity to influence the perceived success or failure in the eyes of the B & G.
It is also easier for us (entertainers) to see where the budget excesses and shortfalls were, because when it comes down to the zero hour, all eyes are on us and we have to ensure it remains about the B & G.
I have not decided about Chicago yet.
Thank you and everyone else for sharing!
Always enthusiastically,
Balvinder
Andy,
I always enjoy reading what you post.
“Budget” as defined in Websters means:
1. an itemized allotment of funds, time, etc., for a given period.
2. the total sum of money set aside or needed for a purpose:
You could have a $50,000 budget or $5,000 budget. The idea is to give the best customer service to make the $5,000 bride feel as great at the $50,000 bride.
Educating the bride in what will truly set her event apart from others, or how to do things to make a lasting impression.
It takes great customer service, enjoying this industry, and caring about your clients to really send this message. Now is the time for everyone in the industry to really dig deep and evaluate how they treat their clients that are on a budget.
People are now realizing that you can’t live above your means and not to get into hock to enjoy one day! You can have a fabulous wedding while maintaining a budget. It is not impossible.
See you in Charlotte at NACE!
Bonnie
Balvinder,
Thanks for the praise on impartiality. I like to believe that even when I have a point of view, I’m able to see not-just-both-side of the situation, but ALL sides of the situation.
I’m glad that comes across to you.
Andy
Hi Andy,
Always enjoy reading your blog. A couple of points:
I’m going to take issue with your comment that the DIY Bride with a budget under $5,000 is “someone who probably doesn’t have the resources to get married just yet”. Getting married costs almost nothing – its having a wedding that’s the expensive part!
Bonnie has said pretty much what I wanted – there is no right or wrong way to have a wedding and the bride with a small budget is entitled to as much respect as someone with plenty to spend.
I think there is too much “you must have……” in the wedding industry and not enough impartial advice.
Alison
Alison,
Thanks for your comments. Just a modest come back from me.
You should note my use of the word ‘probably.’ That’s my hedge
. The subtext is that a couple with less than $5000 must appreciate the limits of their resources, as it relates to a throwing a glorious reception. You’re absolutely correct. Getting married, itself, is not the expensive part.
Having gone through the process of being a groom, I, too, had to deal with ‘what is customary in the wedding industry.’ I quickly reached the belief that the most important element is that the bride and groom are in accord with what they want to do, and are good hosts in the process. After that, ‘must-do’s or must haves’ are academic.
Keep on commenting!
Andy
The budget is a guide of what the bride thinks she will spend. Brides tell their families they spent less than they did and tell their friends they spent more than they did.
Every bride has in mind services that are most important to her and she will spend more for that service then another. It then comes down to connecting to the right bride for your service and price point.
If you can practice flexibility and educate the bride as to why your services are of more value to her than your competitor she will appreciate your time, perhaps select you to be her vendor and you have left a good impression with her whether she hires you or not.
Referrals come from a variety of sources, always take the opportunity to leave a good impression.
Diane
Diane,
The line, above, is key. I think it’s important for a vendor to ask brides for a budget range for the vendor’s category of service. Couples tend to have a variety of responses. Under $xxx or I don’t have a budget are the common responses. Seldom does one hear a good range.
In actuality, brides may be fearful that a vendor will already target the top of their range.
When hearing an unreasonably low dollar-number or range, a vendor is usually well-served by asking: How did you arrive at that number? It’s helpful to know whether they did research, they are repeating what her older sister paid for the same service five years ago, or that’s all the money she has left.
Ultimately, the approach you suggest is a sound one. As the bride acquires good information, her decisions become better, and sometimes the budget guidelines change (stretch or contract).
Thanks for your contribution,
Andy
Great article. I completly believe that even with a low budget you can still have a amazing wedding. All it takes is some effort from both parties. With the amount of resources available for information it should not be so difficult as people make it seem. I wrote a small blog about my experience as well as a Budget Bride. Bride on a Budget. The Basics.
Very interesting article. I have pulled off some amazing weddings for brides on a budget of $3000.00 or less. Very elegant weddings! Contrary to popular belief, elegance and expensive are not synonyms.You referred this price range as an artsy/craftsy bride. I disagree, I believe this shows common sense, practicality,
and ingenuity. If you are smart enough to educate yourself about wedding and etiquette and you are committed to the time and attention that it takes…You can have a truly elegant wedding!
Thanks for a great article. I did a wedding celebration a few years ago with very realistic bride and groom (second marriage)
They served Champagne and Strawberries. Guests were there to toast their good fortune. I think 2nd mariages are more realistic and couples are very well aware of their resouces.
It was very elegant and sophisticated just as the couple was. They also married at city hall.