Situational Ethics: Just how big a hypocrite are you?
Wedding Industry Marketing Professionals: Do I have your attention? Good? Because this post is likely to make you squirm.
Recently, my friend Debbie Hansen (Bridal Spectacular), posted a seething blog item about how one of her bridal show competitors stretched the truth (aka outright lied) about a number of factors concerning his show. I know she wrestled with this before going public, because it ran the risk of sounding like sour grapes.
Sour grapes be damned! Her competitor had crossed the line, traversed the grey area, and passed into the twilight zone of ethics way too many times.
Ahh, no one will no (Really?)
On a related note, last December, I posted an item titled: Ersatz Awards Don’t Reflect Well On Anyone. That post referenced a national scam on awards, not a local one. However, the local bridal-show-promoter-in-question (that Debbie blogged about) also offers an ‘awards program’ with highly questionable standards no standards.
My B.S. meter can identify a phony awards program without great difficulty. Here is what to look for.
- It lists award categories, but no objective criteria is provided. Just fill in a name.
- Voters are not really constrained. Any industry business person or bride can vote. As they say in Chicago, “Vote Early and Vote Often!”
- There are no stated committee of judges. It’s a ‘back room’ situation.
- The anonymous body of judges/voters selects ‘winners’ behind closed doors with no criteria, supervision, or oversight.
Would you do business with this person?
So here’s the rub. If you are award winner selected for an award, what does it mean and what should you do. Everyone likes to have awards plaques on the wall or trophies on their credenza.
(Mind you, the local show-promoter-in-question, bragged to another wedding professional that, in his previous life as a vendor, he had plaques made up for phony awards to impress prospects that came to his office).
Over the years, I have worked on NACE awards, nationally and locally. They have criteria, standards, are judged legitimately. If you win one, it is real; not a stroke for some future favor.
The aforementioned award recognition isn’t even a good knock-off. It’s as phony as they come.
Last year, I pointedly asked several award winners how the felt abut the award process, and being selected to receive recognition. I asked, knowing that they had proudly displayed their awards at the very next bridal show. Unsuspecting brides were left with the impression that these businesses were exemplary companies. They may or may not be exemplary, but one couldn’t conclude that from these phony awards.
To a one, they shifted uncomfortably and said (paraphrasing),
“It doesn’t really matter. The brides don’t know. Who cares?”
“I care,” I shot back. Other wedding professionals know it’s baloney. “You have other legitimate success and awards to showcase. Why do you lower yourself to showcase a bogus award?”
Silence!!
My Personal Policy: From more than 30 years in this industry, I have a very short list of people I choose not to do business with. Currently, just three people. Not on the word of others, but from my first hand experience and personal observation.
In the vernacular:
“If you sleep with dogs, you’re likely to get fleas.”
So… now that we’ve had this little monologue, just how big a hypocrite are YOU? If not you, do you have any friends with Situational Ethics?
Would you accept the award? Would you display in your office? Would you display it a bridal show?
Or would you display a spine by rejecting it, outright?
Your thoughts,
Andy Ebon
The Wedding Marketing Authority
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This is one of those topics that should really be discussed more openly among wedding vendors. I think you hit the nail on the head – unscrupulous vendors who win (or pay for) a fake award think that it doesn’t matter because they brides don’t know.
My rule has always been: “If you would feel uncomfortable explaining it to one of your customers if they confronted you about it, then don’t do it.”
I think the problem arises when everyone else, seeing this, doesn’t say anything about it. If brides knew it was a fake award, they’d certainly have a problem with it. I think there’s a big difference between just being ’sour grapes’ because you didn’t win a legitimate award and calling someone out for something that’s clearly a crock.
Education is the only vaccine for the disease of stupidity. Keep up the great work, Andy!
There is some kind of “list” in my area run by a local TV station. I’m sick of my friends in the business emailing me to “vote for me so I’ll be selected as the best baker (caterer, florist, photographer, etc).” If it’s just a popularity vote, and the votes are from your friends and not your clients, what have you won? I’ve had friends tell me I should get on this list and I flat out refuse. I’ve never been a fan of the “I was picked because I have friends” system since grade school dodge ball when we picked kids for our team …. and everyone silently begged & prayed NOT to be the last one picked.
I completely agree with you Andy. In fact,I wrote a similar rant over on the Wedding Dish this spring. OUCH! From the emails I got from the winners you would have though I had just ripped their newborn from their arms.
More than just getting this convo going with in the industry, we need to get the word out to brides. Ultimately they are the ones that are being led on.