Just over a year ago, I posted the item, A Ruthless discussion of the term “Budget Bride” and wedding decision making.

It was edgy by design (so what else is new) and generated a lot of comments.

Sunday night, I was burning the midnight oil and before turning off the lights, I thought I’d check my blog statistics. There was a huge spike in activity. It came from a message board on Wedding Wire. In doing research, one bride found my post, and shared it with other brides (and grooms).

It is worth rereading my original post, and then reading the comments on Wedding Wire from brides.

Interested in your feedback!

Andy Ebon
The Wedding Marketing Authority

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This post is the fifth of a recap series about a meeting of the Las Vegas Wedding Network. Seven brides spoke and answered questions about their wedding planning experience.

There comes a point for many brides where they become overwhelmed. For all the excitement and possibilities, when a bride begins to realize that she has lost control of the wedding day, it’s scary, upsetting, and potentially devastating.

You can hear that emotion from a newlywed who starts a sentence with… “If I had it to do again…”

There probably are not many brides out there who wouldn’t change something, if they could do it over. The issues are really these:

• Were you able to enjoy the day?
• Were you able to interact with your family and guests?
• Did you have to endure unnecessary family drama?
• Were the problems that came up, or mistakes that occurred, avoidable? If so, how?
• Were those problems or mistakes minor, or major, magnitude?

The surprising consensus, to me (and I’m sure many others in the audience), was NOT that bride’s admitted that they would have been well served by a wedding consultant…. but, that they didn’t realize everything that a wedding consultant could do for them.

SOUNDS LIKE A BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY!!

In a presentation I made last September, at the Wedding MBA, I extolled the virtues of competent, well-trained wedding consultants. I sincerely believe that the process of wedding planning has become too complex and overwhelming for a one-time bride. There is too much information, too many choices, and too many ways to run off the rails in a big way.

Whether a bride is looking for a wedding consultant to carry out her vision, or lend more design ideas to the day, from my view, prevent really bad mistakes is the biggest value of a neutral party.

More than one bride expressed that their family members and wedding party had become a handful or worse. They voiced, to a one, that having that delegating some of the wrangling to a wedding consultant would have freed them up to enjoy themselves, and leave the drama behind.

My conclusion: This is a public relations and education issue that, if conquered, should translate into more work for qualified wedding consultants.

There are now many organizations, associations, and institutions of higher learning training and certifying wedding consultants. Exactly what are they doing to educate the public? The various wedding entertainment shows have their place. Inspiration, mainly. However, entertainment is not a substitute for education of the public by the organizations that train wedding consultants.

THAT would appear to be the challenge from observations from this panel discussion and others, and the professional opinions of many wedding professionals.

Andy Ebon
The Wedding Marketing Authority

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This post is the second of a recap series about a meeting of the Las Vegas Wedding Network. Seven brides spoke and answered questions about their wedding planning experience. –

As Annie spoke, slowly, about her wedding day photography you could see her starting to tear up. Finally, choked up, and wiping away tears, she explained that her photographer had failed to get photos of her walking down the aisle. The collective gasp in the room was palpable. The reaction was disbelief.

Annie described herself as “…knowing exactly what I wanted.” During the wedding planning process, she did not need input. She was looking for wedding professionals to carry out her wishes.

In retrospect, she said “I thought I can’t manage everything during the wedding and reception. But when the spotlight is on you, it’s not really possible to oversee the event. Had I realized what was needed, I probably would have hired a day-of-wedding-coordinator to manage the execution.”

Hearing her explain the situation was brutal. Fortunately, she did have a videographer, and some stills can be transferred from the digital video. Not exactly ideal. Right now, today, she clearly feels like there is a huge whole in her wedding day experience.

It wasn’t clear exactly why the moment was missed, but there was only a single photographer covering the scene. Knowing the venue (which remained anonymous last night), it’s clear that there should have been a second photographer. Even without a second-shooter, a wedding coordinator or consultant would not have allowed this to happen.

Mistakes, such as this, are huge. The blame and responsibility rest with several people. It is a collective failure of several people/companies that allowed such a colossal omission.

Opinion: In speaking with Annie, briefly, after the meeting, I came away with the impression that she still didn’t fully understand the interrelationship of separate decisions. For example, how an inexperienced Emcee can wreck the flow of activities. Or, how an artsy photographer can take a bridal party outside, and too much time before returning, transforming dinner into rubber chicken.

Even though a first-time-bride may “know what she wants”, she is still a rookie, in the world of planning a wedding. What wedding professionals owe her, in my estimation, is a firm and convincing summary of the risks and rewards, steeped in the truth.

I don’t know which photographers she spoke to, and who, if any, may have said, firmly “Annie, you really need the coverage of two photographers for your wedding and reception. For the following reasons….”. And then one photographer said, “Oh no, I can shoot this with just an assistant. You don’t need a second photographer.”

Bingo! More money to spend on something else.

It’s important for the day-of wedding vendors and venue to work like a team, and all be professional. It’s is critical for catering and event managers to help brides shape their priorities, and keep them for going into a ditch. As a Grade A wedding professional, there’s nothing worse than doing your job alongside a clown. You can, right up close, how one bad hire can disproportionately affect the outcome of the day.

Tell brides the truth about the importance of these things. It’s an ethical obligation, even if they choose to hire someone else. More often than not, if you can master the method of delivering the message, without condescending, you will come away as treasured asset on her wedding day.

Different wedding: This photographer got the shot, but it doesn’t end well.

Andy Ebon
The Wedding Marketing Blog

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Seven brides, married from as recently as 4 months ago, to four years ago, shared the good, the bad, and the ugly at a Las Vegas Wedding Network meeting, hosted at the Aliante Hotel & Casino.

There is so much information to share that I will make multiple posts over the next week to cover the range of issues.

To provide some context, Moderator, Ricky Gulati (Memory Lane Videography) started by asking what type of venue each bride selected, and why. That opening qualifier had an even more significant 2-part follow up.

1. Approximately, what was your initial budget or budget range for your wedding?
2. Did you stay within your budget, or did you go over it? If you went over it, by how much?

The dollar-numbers were not the important answer, here, as they were approximate. What clearly stood out was that six out of seven brides exceeded their budget. The range of excess was from 50% to 200%. In real dollars, these cost overruns were in tens of thousands of dollars.

Observation – Conclusion – Reality Check – Opinion

By their own admission, the brides didn’t really have a budget. They had a chunk of money, but didn’t really know the cost of things. Moreover, when they got into the process of planning, particularly when attending bridal shows, they discovered opportunities for products and services they didn’t know existed.

A good example of that was uplighting. More than one bride commented, that once demonstrated,

uplighting was a dramatic decor upgrade. They wanted it, and bought it.

That comes under the heading of “You don’t know, what you don’t know.” It’s not reasonable to have planned or budgeted for something you didn’t know existed.

Several brides expressed that “When I found a particular vendor that I clicked with, price went out the window.” This seemed to particularly important with vendors, such as photographers, who work at close range with a couple, for many hours.

Overages were absorbed by parents, in-laws, or the couples, themselves.

Worth A Read: A while back, I posted a provocative item, titled: A ruthless discussion of the term ‘Budget Bride’ and wedding decision making

It relates well to this post, and the ones that will follow, about the bridal panel.

Congratulations to the program organizers for putting on a fine, informational show.

Andy Ebon
The Wedding Marketing Authority

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In recent few weeks, I’ve given a great deal of thought to the dynamics of the wedding industry. Here are just five that came to mind.

• How have economic struggles changed the mindset of brides?
• How has the mindset and policy of major hotels affected small businesses by booking their services, with a markup, rather than simply referring, changed the financial model?
• When banquet halls work with ‘in-house’ services, outsourcing for cakes, music, etc., offering no choices for the bride, is that a good thing? For the bride or for competitive services?
• How has up-selling and cross-selling by many businesses, across diverse products and services created confusion for the bride?
• And how has the proliferation of media, online media, and information, generally made decision making more difficult?

One can like or dislike any item on the shortlist. With a little thought, the list could grow by 10 or 20.

If you want to be on a preferred vendor list in Las Vegas, building a great relationship with the Director of Catering is a nice thing, but that person doesn’t make the decision. The discussion and final decision is typically made a couple of levels higher up, by a regional manager for several of a company’s hotels.

• Is that decision based on quality, commission, politics, fairness, relationships? Yes! All of them; except, perhaps, fairness.
• Can you influence that decision? Not directly or easily.

Reality Check: Things are as they are. not as you would like them to be. Instead of taking on the massive task of changing an entire industry, why not just become a force in your sphere of influence?

Everyone  has been told by a parent that ‘Life is not fair.’ When you’re a business owner or manager, it’s annoying to remind you of a conversation you had with one or more parents, decades ago. But it’s important.

Changing an industry, or one slice of an industry is like getting an elephant to roll over.

If you are not one of the absolute business leaders in your segment of the wedding industry, then all the annoying unfairness applies to your business, too. You can complain about the referral food chain, commissions and kick backs, or uninformed brides. Doesn’t make a damn bit of difference.

Actually, you don’t have to change the whole industry, just your immediate wedding world. Make your business the absolute best it can be, build and renew rock solid relationships with more people in all walks of the wedding industry, tighten up and focus your marketing, and then stand back.

This should not be a news flash, but somehow, when you’re feeling overwhelmed, it is important to press the pause button, and look around. It’s not 10 or 20 years ago, it’s today. In the words of the great baseball player, Satchel Paige, “Don’t look back, something might be gaining on you.”

Go get ‘em!!

Andy Ebon
The Wedding Marketing Blog

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Several weeks ago, The Wedding Marketing Blog posted an item, noting the disinformation contained in a Chicago Fox TV interview with Bella Pictures, former VP of Business Development, Jenny Lefcoourt. In that discussion, Lefcourt self-promoted Bella Pictures, and then went on to give some very ragged advice on saving money in other areas of a wedding. The low-light was its entertainment segment, suggesting that bride might ‘dump the DJ’ in favor of using an iPod.

Subsequently,The Wedding Marketing Blog posted another Lefcourt interview with a Los Angeles Fox TV Affiliate showing brides how they should pose to ‘shed a few pounds.’

Despite being first aired, in 2008, these interview had been missed by many wedding professionals. Representation of the clips caused a fresh firestorm about a variety of issues. Links to these blog posts popped up on many industry message boards and discussion groups.

Today, there is  something new to report. On the Open Source Photo message board, a message was posted by former Co-founder and Chief Photographer of Bella Pictures, Bob Davis.

The carefully worded message made some of the following points.

• Davis shared his “disappointment” with the Fox TV Interview (Chicago segment)
• He makes it known that “he is no longer with Bella Pictures”
• Davis goes on to explain that “…his values were no longer in alignment with Bella as of March 2009, and he was let go.” One might characterize the situation as philosophical differences (my words, not Mr. Davis).
• He gives a direct, but clearly-worded warning to photographers, reading his post, to “Please enter into any working arrangement with Bella Pictures with your eyes and expectations wide open.”

Analysis and Opinion: Bob Davis left Bella Pictures quite recently. You should read his entire post to get the full flavor of it. I read the tone as a lament. He is clearly expressing that Bella Pictures has strayed from its original concept and he was no longer comfortable with it.

His ‘warning to photographers’ should further concern about the practices of Bella Pictures. Davis does not address brides, as the Open Source Photo Message Board is a forum for professionals; however, one can only speculate what he might tell them.

In my study of many online comments of brides on various other forums, the random satisfaction of their customers makes continuity and consistency the major bugaboo with Bella Pictures. The major one, but there are others.

Despite the fact the Bella Pictures has an inconsistent track record in their core competency, photography, they have expanded into videography.

When you hear such sad comments from Co-Founder and former Chief Photographer of Bella Pictures, it should give you great pause for concern.

Andy Ebon
The Wedding Marketing Authority

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Just five days ago, I posted an item, titled: I got married! I’m an expert with one wedding under my belt.

Read the entire post and its comments. I spoke generally about how with the advent of blogging, one can find wedding advice from any measure of amateurs. One of this blog’s readers, DJ June Hoffman suggested I read a post 10 Ways to Save on Wedding Music on the Budget Bride Blog.

I read that one, and after a little browsing, I viewed an item on catering that had major misinformation: 10 Ways to Cut Back on Catering. (I believe that post may have been removed, because I couldn’t not find it, today. I’ll check again). I went ahead, and made my post.

Soon, I noticed a great deal of website traffic to my blog from a site I did not recognize, CakeCentral.com. As it turned out, a planner had forwarded a link about my post to a baker, and then it was reposted on the Cake Central message board. Turns out there was yet another post on making Sugar Flowers 5/28/09) that lit up the message board like a Christmas Tree.

The Cake Central message thread became rather animated (It’s a private board, one shouldn’t repeat any particular comment). What was more surprising was the number of  bakers that posted comments on the Sugar Flower thread on the Budget Wedding Blog. There are 26 public comments, still viewable, today.

I visited the Cake Central message board today, to see if there was any more discussion. Ominously, the entire thread (four pages worth) had been deleted. Despite its contentious discussion, I thought it was a discussion worth having. When one considers the fact that the Budget Wedding Blog still had comments posted, publicly, I thought it odd that the Cake Central message board would censor its members with a meat ax. And, without even an explanation. Did someone or several someones vioilate the message board rules. It would be nice to know, so lines weren’t crossed in the future.

It’s important to disagree, sometimes vehemently, but as agreeably as possible. I hardly think contentious disagreement is reason to silence all discussion.

Don’t you agree? Readers are more than welcome to post praise and criticism on The Wedding Marketing Blog. If you don’t think I’m being fair or open-minded, write a comment… and tell me why.

Sometimes you and i will examine the same facts, and will reach different conclusiosn. That’s OK, too.

That’s what makes horseraces.

Andy Ebon
The Wedding Marketing Authority

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I only have $500. Will you take it?

A couple of days ago, I posted an item about the differences between money (price), value, budget and result. It generated lots of traffic, a comment or two, and plenty of direct email.

It also caused me to consider the phrase, ‘budget bride.’ Along with DIY Bride, these are two of the most annoying and poorly used descriptors in the wedding industry. To a great degree, I lay that at the feet of my friends in mass media for the wedding industry. Mass media tends to be a popularization tool as much as an information source. If you repeat a phrase, such as ‘budget bride,’ often enough, it becomes part of the wedding lexicon, for better for worse.

The problem with these phrases is they paint the bride’s resources with the grayest of brush strokes. So, at the risk of being more precise, I’ll break it down from my experience.

• DIY Bride: (Budget: under $5000) Someone who probably doesn’t have the resources to get married just yet and is likely to turn most of her wedding into an Arts and Crafts project.
• Low Budget Bride (Budget: $5000 – $14,999) Has the resources, but will have to make some tough decisions on the reception. The big conundrum is whether to economize across the board or cut in specific areas, and not others.
• Statistically Average Bride: (Budget: $15,000 – $34,999) Has the resources to do a nice job on the reception. Her biggest decision should be ‘How many guests can we invite to have a nice reception?’
• High Budget Bride (Budget: $35,000 – $60,000): Has more than enough money to do great things. Her biggest challenge is not to make bad choices among wedding vendors, irrespective of money.
• Luxury Bride (Budget: more than $60,000): Daddio has wads of cash and she wants to be awash in greenbacks. Not all brides in this financial category are Bridezillas, but the risk and tendency is greater than in any of the lower tiers. Bridezillas almost always make bad decisions. It’s in their DNA.

A budget is not:

• … is not throwing a dart at a target.
• … budget is not the total amount in the parent’s bank account or your bank account.
• … budget is not what one or more girlfriends spent on their wedding.
• … is not necessarily what you see on Platinum Weddings or Get Married TV (those are inspirations)

A budget is:

• A study of the range of what wedding products and services cost in your area, balanced against your tastes, inspirations and fantasies.
• Factored by the number of guests you choose to invite.

A line budget item is not:

• “I only have $750 left for videography. Will you take that?”
• “Oh, my third cousin, Oscar, is going to take the photos.”

A budget is:

• $1 Million
• $50,000
• $25,000
• $7,500
• $3,000

Budget does not necessarily mean low budget. A budget can be…

• A specific dollar amount or less
• A specific dollar amount or more
• A range from $X to $Y (this is the preferred budget)
• Money is no object (must be the truth)

The Wedding Report publishes ongoing data about spending in the wedding industry. It consistently reports that brides spend close to 50% more than they had budgeted for the wedding, with an average wedding expense running  just under $30,000. This shows a major discrepancy between the original money allotted, from reality of their desires.

I would assert the reason for this is that their original money allotment was not a budget at all. It was dart throwing at a bank book.

Here’s the challenge from every wedding professional, wedding media outlet, and industry trade association:

• Clearly delineate what it means to be a professional in your category of the wedding industry, from the standpoint of ‘benefits to the bride.’
• Explain the relationship (if any) of your business category to others. Such as the interactions between entertainer, photographer, videographer and caterer/venue. Or flowers and cake.
• Explain the Truth or Consequences and effect of making a sub-standard choice.

The naked truth about satisfaction vs. money spent: When a wedding day is over, either the bride and groom are happy with a particular product or service or they are not. A vendor is not wearing a price tag around their neck. There is not a dollar cost at your place card, showing the price of each dinner. There is not a little flag in your slice of cake, showing its cost plus a cake cutting fee.

In retrospect, most wedding couples can point out decisions they made, that were off-the-mark. There are hundreds of decisions, big and small, involved in a wedding. Amazingly enough, it only takes one or two really bad decisions to create an unhappy outcome. And, amazingly enough, a really bad decision is often not related to money.

It would be outstanding if all wedding industry professionals would embrace educating the bride to realistic and exciting expectations, rather than than just fanning the flames of fairy tale dreams. It is true that if the wedding budget is spent disproportionately, bad things usually happen.

A bride with $12,000 to spend, should be able to experience as much happiness on her wedding day as one with $50,000. But that supposes she has enough information, common sense, and critical thinking to make consistently good decisions, and then does so.

Come to think of it, that’s a pretty good operational mission statement for the wedding industry.

Don’t you agree?

Andy Ebon
The Wedding Marketing

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