This post is the second of a recap series about a meeting of the Las Vegas Wedding Network. Seven brides spoke and answered questions about their wedding planning experience. –

As Annie spoke, slowly, about her wedding day photography you could see her starting to tear up. Finally, choked up, and wiping away tears, she explained that her photographer had failed to get photos of her walking down the aisle. The collective gasp in the room was palpable. The reaction was disbelief.

Annie described herself as “…knowing exactly what I wanted.” During the wedding planning process, she did not need input. She was looking for wedding professionals to carry out her wishes.

In retrospect, she said “I thought I can’t manage everything during the wedding and reception. But when the spotlight is on you, it’s not really possible to oversee the event. Had I realized what was needed, I probably would have hired a day-of-wedding-coordinator to manage the execution.”

Hearing her explain the situation was brutal. Fortunately, she did have a videographer, and some stills can be transferred from the digital video. Not exactly ideal. Right now, today, she clearly feels like there is a huge whole in her wedding day experience.

It wasn’t clear exactly why the moment was missed, but there was only a single photographer covering the scene. Knowing the venue (which remained anonymous last night), it’s clear that there should have been a second photographer. Even without a second-shooter, a wedding coordinator or consultant would not have allowed this to happen.

Mistakes, such as this, are huge. The blame and responsibility rest with several people. It is a collective failure of several people/companies that allowed such a colossal omission.

Opinion: In speaking with Annie, briefly, after the meeting, I came away with the impression that she still didn’t fully understand the interrelationship of separate decisions. For example, how an inexperienced Emcee can wreck the flow of activities. Or, how an artsy photographer can take a bridal party outside, and too much time before returning, transforming dinner into rubber chicken.

Even though a first-time-bride may “know what she wants”, she is still a rookie, in the world of planning a wedding. What wedding professionals owe her, in my estimation, is a firm and convincing summary of the risks and rewards, steeped in the truth.

I don’t know which photographers she spoke to, and who, if any, may have said, firmly “Annie, you really need the coverage of two photographers for your wedding and reception. For the following reasons….”. And then one photographer said, “Oh no, I can shoot this with just an assistant. You don’t need a second photographer.”

Bingo! More money to spend on something else.

It’s important for the day-of wedding vendors and venue to work like a team, and all be professional. It’s is critical for catering and event managers to help brides shape their priorities, and keep them for going into a ditch. As a Grade A wedding professional, there’s nothing worse than doing your job alongside a clown. You can, right up close, how one bad hire can disproportionately affect the outcome of the day.

Tell brides the truth about the importance of these things. It’s an ethical obligation, even if they choose to hire someone else. More often than not, if you can master the method of delivering the message, without condescending, you will come away as treasured asset on her wedding day.

Different wedding: This photographer got the shot, but it doesn’t end well.

Andy Ebon
The Wedding Marketing Blog

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It did not take long to find a reason to write a companion post to the one from the morning: Are you guilty of seat-of-the-pants marketing?

Debbie Hansen, a good friend and Las Vegas bridal show producer (Bridal Spectacular) relayed a recent selling experience via an update on Facebook.

Ouch, don’t know what to say when someone who does not know you and accuses you of being greedy because you won’t cut them a deal on a booth, it seems to me cutting special deals is just plain wrong, what do you think?

My reaction: This is a seat-of-the-pants marketer, in the flesh.

Somewhere along the line, almost thirty years ago, I learned the difference between price vs. value. I also developed a clear understanding that what a business charges for a product or service does not have a direct connection with their costs. It is determined by their ability to deliver the product or service, successfully, and their customers (exhibitors) receiving value (traffic, leads, face-to-face exposure, etc.,) in line with promoted expectations (and to some degree, consistent with past success).

Greedy? Are you kidding? This particular bridal show promoter consistently deals with every exhibitor on an even playing field. Whatever ‘promotions’ and ‘options’ exist, are for all to take advantage of. With Debbie Hansen, you do not have to wonder whether a competitor received a discount or a trade deal that, by virtue of a special arrangement, is better than your hard dollars.

Presposterous!! This is a cheap shot from someone who doesn’t know the difference between price and value and doesn’t understand the ethical issues of offering different deals to exhibitors in the same event.

Debbie Hansen, Bridal Spectacular

I think what one might says (roughly) is this (my words): “I appreciate that every exhibitor would like to spend the fewest dollars possible to market their company at our show, in our publication, and on our website. However, we operate on an ethic of fairness. To us, and our advertisers/exhibitors, that means offering everyone the same options and pricing. You will always know that you didn’t pay more than your competitor. And vice versa. And you want to be dealing with a fair and ethical company, don’t you?”

And if they don’t fall in line, with a little more discussion, then they are self-absorbed with no regard for fairness in the industry that they occupy…. (Want to know what I REALLY think?)

When the shoe is on the other foot: Wedding business owners can wear me out, complaining about how brides don’t understand the value of their quality product or service, and make lowball offers or hire amateurs. In this particular instance, The wedding business owner shows the same foolishness as a poorly informed bride. Problem is…. they are allegedly a professional and should know better.

In case you haven’t picked up on it, I’m annoyed by this mentality.

There is a difference between a product or service being overpriced and one’s ability (budget planning) to make a purchase.

Accusing another business owner of greed is, in this particular case, pathetic.

End of rant!!

Full disclosure: I am a co-founder of the Las Vegas Wedding Network, along with Debbie Hansen and Monica Morgan. I became involved in launching the organization because Las Vegas needed a prominent, long term, ethical person (Debbie Hansen) taking the lead in wedding networking. So, do I have a bias in all of this? Not really. It just galls me when people point a finger at one of the most ethical, professional people I know.

Andy Ebon
The Wedding Marketing Blog

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The face of this lovely woman is that of a thief. A self-entitled, cold-blooded thief. She is stealing, everyday, from her employer.

She’s not going into the cash register or embezzling from the company checking account. She is stealing time.

Statistics from national wedding websites and your site, too, document the obvious. The fact that site traffic spikes during the middle of the day and beyond. Let’s just say the activity surpasses the constraints of a bride’s lunch hour. She is spending significant time, on the job, helping herself, on company time.

In a discussion with a fellow wedding professional, learned the story of one of his employees who had become engaged. Her work productivity had dipped significantly, causing him concern and curiosity.

The business owner had the IT manager redirect her computer activity to a secondary monitor in his office. He was aghast to find that on many days, up to 90% of her time was spent on her wedding planning, not her job.

This is anecdotal, extreme evidence of the overall nature of many brides. The wedding industry, to a great degree, fosters and promotes a mindset known best as “It’s all about me.”

This outlook often creeps into discussions and negotiations with wedding vendors, such as you. Do not confuse selling-to-the-bride as a long term relationship. If she can contract the best service for her needs, and pay next-to-nothing for it, she will. All too many brides go further, losing sight of value, and becoming focused on price.

Your job, in representing your enterprise, in good sales fashion, is to refocus the bride on the relative value of your product or service, and how it is important to her wedding and reception.

To the extent that you are able to make your case, breaking through the self-entitled, prima donna outlook of too many brides, you will serve the client well, and win more negotiations.

If you think the value of your service is a no-brainer, you’ll lose the sale more often than you should. Don’t blame the bride. Polish your sales and marketing skills and take control. Remember, you’re the wedding professional. Not the other way around.

Andy Ebon
The Wedding Marketing Authority

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A good blog, even a decent blog, is a wedding marketing goldmine. Offering a highlight reel of one’s business and observations on your involvement  in client and industry events does far more than feed the search engine optimization beast.

Writing quality posts enables you to present your personal and business personality, while shining the light on people, companies, and organizations you interact with. It positions you and your company as the thought leader in field, in your market, and beyond.

Yet, in spite of these substantial benefits, so many business bloggers are running on empty.

So, I present to you the 10 Top Excuses For Not Posting To A Blog

1. Posting to Twitter is easier because there is a maximum of 140 characters, and I have a short attention span.
2. I don’t have an original thought to write about.
3. I’m too busy watching reruns of American Idol,  Jersey Shore, and World Wrestling Entertainment.
4. It’s easier posting about my ham sandwich lunches on Facebook.
5. I have so much business, I couldn’t possibly accommodate any more activity resulting from publishing a good blog.
6. It’s been so long since I posted that I forgot my login and password.
7. It’s more fun looking for the next shiny object than profiting from polishing the current shiny object, my blog.
8. I’m thinking about going out of business, and I wanted to accelerate the process.
9. To make sufficient time for blogging, regularly, I’d have to give up either shampooing my hair or vacuuming.
10. I’ve come to the realization that I’m an undisciplined, lazy bum, who prefers undermining my success, rather than executing the tasks that will enhance my chances of success.

So what’s your excuse? Or someone you know? Stay tuned for Part 2 of this combination rant/guilt trip, and exposé of incalculable lameness-in-blogging.

Andy Ebon
The Wedding Marketing Authority

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So I was on a plane flight, sitting next to the venerable Mr. T. Naturally, we moved into discussion cutting edge issues related to wedding marketing. I was quite surprised at how passionate he was, on the subject.

We disagreed on one basic element. Mr. T feels that many wedding business people are simply fools. I, on the other hand, feel that wedding business people are highly competent at their craft, but sometimes make foolish wedding marketing decisions.

Mr. T shrugged and said, “Six of one, half a dozen of the other. Fools or foolish decision. The result is the same. Wasted money, weak results.”

With a little coaxing, he gave me a number of wedding marketing red flags to share with you.

• Wedding marketing professionals complain about the bride not having a realistic budget, but most of them don’t have a wedding marketing budget.
• Wedding marketing professionals often grouse about conflicting timelines at a wedding, but at least there is a timeline. When it comes to written wedding marketing plans, he finds that almost no wedding businesses actually have one.
• Don’t believe the hype! In reference to the new A-Team movie, Mr. T explained that “Suspending belief is something you should do when you go into a cinema.” Disbelief is not something you should practice when dealing with advertising, marketing, or results. Go for facts, history of consistency, and measure results. “If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.”
• His ethics advice. “If you sleep with dogs, you’re likely to get fleas.”
• Who is the client?: In another canine metaphor, Mr. T says – “The person that feeds the dog, is the dog’s owner.” Sometimes that’s the bride, the wedding couple, the venue, parents, or all of the above. You deal with the bride once, but you want to be welcome back to, and referred by, the venue.
• On positive thinkers: “Without facts or a plan, they are just fools.”
• On promoters: “If they sound like a used car salesman, they probably run their business like one. Even if they’re not wearing suede shoes.”

Would like to bring Mr. T to a wedding conference to lay the smack down on some of the attendees.

Mr. T’s Bottom Line: Don’t be self-delusional, have a written plan, and don’t believe the hype.

If not, Mr. T will have NO pity for you.

Andy Ebon
The Wedding Marketing Authority

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In my new role, as Associate Representative, on the board of BSPI (Bridal Show Producers International), I have a resurgent interest in the relationship between show producers, exhibitors/advertisers, and the bride. One of the prime directives for BSPI is to be an organization for ethical and competent bridal show producers… to promote high standards in the wedding wndustry.

Having exhibited at close to 100 bridal shows, during my life as a DJ, I’ve seen the good, the bad, and the ugly.

In the end, here’s what I believe one should expect from a bridal show producer.

“They should do what they say they are going to do, to promote the show. Their promotion to the bride and to the exhibitor should be ethical, accurate, clear and not deceptive. The show environment should be easy to navigate, have aisles that are consistent with its expected traffic, have a floor plan (including handouts), clear signage, and have reasonable limits on noise from competitive booths”

Is this an all-inclusive list? No, not really. There are other, lesser issues, but I think these are the big ones.

Ultimately, exhibitors are simply looking for the producer to deliver an audience of brides and their entourage to an event space, filled with booths, for a face-to-face experience.

My perspective on show turnout is that exhibitors focus too much on measuring exactly how many brides attend. One can have too many brides for a time frame or a space, and have a tougher selling situation. This exhibitor angst can psychologically trap bridal show producers into a game of attendance projections.

Bridal Show attendance predictions are an exercise in crystal ball gazing. As is they say in the investment business, ‘Past performance is not necessarily an indication of future performance.’

In my opinion, the accountability is in the marketing and promotion of the show. Did a producer do what they said they would do? Nothing more.

The One Bad Apple Problem: What taints ethical bridal show producers, and creates reasonable skepticism and paranoia among exhibitors is blatant unethical behavior.

During a show earlier this year, a bridal show producer (NOT a BSPI member) tried to mask a lower-than-expected (aka predicted) turnout by playing a shell game with bride badges.

Essentially, the producer had the staff put bride badges on all women in the wedding party… brides, wedding party, friends. Vendors can be fooled for a little time, but it didn’t take them long to figure out they were being bamboozled by the producer.

At a more recent show, a producer was selling 10′ x 10′ booths. That’s a common configuration. Problem was, when exhibitors arrived for the show, their spaces were only 8′ x 8′.

Dance Floor Math: You don’t have to be a math major to know you’re getting shorted. As a former DJ, I simply do the small math of multiplying 10 x 10 and 8 x 8. The promised booth layout was 100 square feet. The actual booth space was 64 square feet. That’s a deficiency of 36%.

In the words of Chef Emeril LaGasse, “This is not rocket science, folks!”

Here’s My Logic: As an exhibitor, one can expect a larger turnout or a smaller one. And one can be pleased or disappointed at the actual traffic flow. But that is purely from individual perspective. I can elect not to participate in the next show, if I choose, because I think a promoter has been ineffective in delivering a result, but being ineffective is not being unethical or deceptive.

However, when it comes to delivering a booth space that 36% smaller than offered and agreed to, that’s another story. I would be demanding 36% of booth fee be refunded. And then, I wouldn’t do business with that show producer, again.

In my view, the first scenario about badges is primarily an ethical issue (deception). The second one (booth space) is both a business and ethical issue. Exhibitors who have their act together, arrive with a plan for their 10′ x 10′ space. To suddenly have to function in an 8′ x 8′ is unacceptable at many levels.

The BIG Question: What Would You Do???

• Are these scenarios as clear cut for you as they are for me?
• Are there more issues and other perspectives?
• Under what conditions would you continue to business with this bridal show producer?

Please get involved in the conversation by contributing your comments and perspective.

Andy Ebon
The Wedding Marketing Authority

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Today, I’ll be making two presentations to the Anchorage Chapter of NACE, one on Social Media, the other on Marketing and Selling to the 21st Century Bride.

In preparing for these presentations, it’s not so much a matter of customizing them, it’s making sure that the information is current.

Yesterday, in the Milwaukee Airport bookstore, I picket up a copy of TIME Magazine. Facebook was on the cover. I devoured yet another round of information and details about this social media juggernaut. The main thrust was privacy, but the article included a slew of background information and chronology.

So, there I was, yesterday, and again, this morning, incorporating fresh material into my presentations.

The message for me, and for you, is “Don’t hide under a rock; changes will occur with, or without, your acquiescence. You must do your level best to keep up with the times, or be left in the dust.”

Andy Ebon
The Wedding Marketing Authority

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I checked one more item off my bucket list, this past week. I traveled to my personal 50th state, South Dakota. Ironically, my 49th state was Alaska, where I traveled to, over a decade ago. As you read this, I will be in Anchorage, for my fifth visit.

Speaking across North America, and beyond has given me an interesting perspective on the state of the wedding industry, and the businesses, both small and large that populate it.

The Brides: In the past quarter century brides consume information from everywhere, as thought it were local. Satellite cable TV and the Internet, give the bride in Sioux Falls, the same access to information and trends, as the bride in Manhattan.

Wedding Industry Businesses: Business owners and managers, in the majority, tend not to consume industry trends or breakthrough technologies to the same degree as brides. Brides are focused on their engagement and wedding, for a finite time frame, a year or so, and immerse themselves. Business people are on a continuum, and operate differently.

There are two major elements for the business owner: Industry specific trends and breakthroughs, and marketing-communication  changes, which are updating at an alarming rate.

The Irony: Different marketplaces adopt trends and industry changes at their own rate. States in the U.S., provinces in Canada, or regions in any country are not monolithic.

I was struck by a new photo booth business in Sioux Falls, Prime TIme Photo Booth. I was struck because my general feeling is that photo booths are quickly becoming the new chocolate fountain. A business idea that while not a fad, is a category that quickly becomes overrun with competitors, and has a limited life of popularity, until the latest new thing pops up.

In talking with the owner, I was reminded that while photo booths may be close to running their course in Las Vegas, they are new to Sioux Falls.

The morale of this marketing story was pretty clear. When thinking about business concepts, trends, marketing, and the like, it’s helpful to think globally, but one should operate in the center of the marketing universe, your local market.

Do not instantly accept or reject unfamiliar/new business ideas or marketing tactics. Instead, overlay them with the mentality and culture of your local market.

It is as important not to be too far ahead, as it is not to lag too fat behind.

Your thoughts?

Andy Ebon
The Wedding Marketing Authority

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I’m midway through a 10-day, 9-night trip, with stops in 4 cities and 3 states. At this midpoint, I’m spending a couple of days in an airport hotel, getting some rest, recharging my batteries and doing some work.

There aren’t many intrusions, so while it’s not terribly scenic or romantic, it’s an ideal situation to dig in for the last leg of the speaking tour.

I’ve had a pretty good experience at this hotel, but this morning, while trying to enjoy the complimentary hot breakfast, I thought my head was going to explode. Some guests, depending on their hotel book, receive coupons for the free breakfast, hosted in Houlihan’s Restaurant, in the hotel.

The problem was simple. The restaurant was understaffed. Only one server, Pam, to attend to any and all patrons. There appeared to be low level staffing in the kitchen, who were one or two steps behind. At one time or another, they ran out of hot food, milk, coffee, bread and rolls, silverware… the works.

Poor Pam was overwhelmed as hotel guests kept arriving in bunches. I’d observed the situation for long enough, picked myself up and went to the front desk. I explained the situation, rather emphatically, that Pam needed assistance, and it was needed NOW! The front desk attendant still didn’t quite read my urgency. I suggested that they were lucky Pam hadn’t walked off the job, and she still might. Now, I had her attention.

About 10 minutes later, the cavalry arrived, in the form of one, recently hired chef (I found his identity out later). Behind the kitchen area, he berated Pam about something related to the coffee. I was about to have a New York moment.

I caught his eye, and with one finger (my index figure), I waived him over to my table. Mr. Clueless asked if he could clear my cereal bowl. No, I suggested he shut up and listen. Now, he was fully engaged.

Essentially, I told him that berating Pam, under these circumstances, was completely inappropriate. He apologized that I had overheard it. I explained, sharply, that what I heard was not the point.

The point was that he had been called in to assist, not supervise. The room was understaffed, and Pam was doing the best she could, in an impossible situation. He needed to bus tables, stock the buffet or wash dishes. Whatever Pam wanted him to do, was what he should be doing. He should be thanking her up and down for having to deal with this untenable situation, and knock off the superiority act.

He thanked me for the attitude adjustment, and I departed.

At dinner, I found the actual restaurant manager, and made sure she had the first hand story, for the record. Maybe I felt the need to insert myself is because I live in Las Vegas and see working stiffs, every day, being overwhelmed by understaffing. Big corporate management stupidity is evident in too many places.

Most people don’t take the time to analyze why they received bad service. I do.

Avoidable problems should be…well…. avoided. Hopefully, I had some small lasting impact on the restaurant scene, at the Ramada Milwaukee Airport.

Berating an employee, in private, or worse, in public, is not management. It’s stupidity. When a customer observes it, it’s marketing…. of the worst kind.

Care to share your observations?

Andy Ebon
The Wedding Marketing Authority

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Yesterday, my new business acquaintance, Wes Wood (Wisdom’n'Treachery) and I, made consecutive presentations at a headquarters company in Madison, WI.

Subsequent to the presentations, we had an interesting discussion about breaking through mental gridlock and problem solving issues, as well as stimulating creativity, generally.

We agreed, instantly, that intense work can, at some point, lead you directly to a dead end. The more one concentrates, the less likely a solution appears likely.

Wes and I both like the coffee house strategy. Leave the office, and go to a Starbucks, Panera Bread, Einstein’s Bagels, or any other brand name or local setting to change your surroundings. In my world, these stops are a morning ritual, and that’s not what we are talking about, here. We’re referring to an afternoon urge for a change of scenery. I’ll suddenly announce to my girlfriend, Jessica, that I’m making a coffee house run, and ask her if she’d like me to bring back a latte for her. And then I go.

Wes takes this ‘change of scenery’ strategy one step further. He spoke about hopping a plane to Vancouver for day, or driving out of town to a different town, to change the dynamics. It may sound frivolous to spend a day and a couple of hundred dollars to jet out of town, but it had great appeal to me.

Even as much as I already travel, I might have to try flying to a California coast city or Phoenix, for a day (and maybe a night) as a rejuvenation run. For me, it would seem counter intuitive, but I like it.

One of my personal creativity strategies is reading magazines and trade journals that are not my normal fare. Sometimes I’ll pick up a few magazines while waiting for a plane flight. Other times I’ll hit the local Borders or Barnes & Nobles, and drop a few dollars on a handful of magazines completely outside my normal areas of interest, and not targeted toward me (my demographic).

I find it interesting to read the articles and review the ads in industries I’m not that familiar with. I will trip over a new approach, a related idea, or something completely unexpected. It is reading for both business and pleasure, but the true motivation is unlocking my brain.

For you, it might be going bowling, and enjoying the crash of pins falling. It could be going to a foreign movie or window shopping.

The important suggestion is figure out what unlocks and stimulates your brain. And when you ‘hit the wall’, don’t hesitate to utilize those escapes to shake things up.

If you have a personal strategy for such things, please share it with our readers, in a comment.

Andy Ebon
The Wedding Marketing Authority

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